Xmas Gift Hints

If you’re like me you shirk such things like lemon bars or rhubarb pie for the simple reason that if you want a lemon you eat one. If you want rhubarb well it sucks to be you, just go grab a stalk of that junk.  Now it’s nice and a point of togetherness to get together and bake treats for the holidays. It’s tradition the nice way of saying I like doing old shit over and over, but to try to up the ante by gradually shoving different items together will of course eventually lead to the fruit cake. I see little reason to combine such things and even less for shoving everything under the sun into one thing. Especially when you can simply skip tradition and just set out a meat plate and some oreo cookies and be set. Then you’d have more time to just sit down and talk instead of do it over Frankenstein lab of baking.

If you’re even more like me around this time of the year you find yourself wondering what the hell happened to the little drummer boy. I for one like to think playing for the king brought him a handsome tip that had him drumming his little ass to the bank and beyond. Sadly in my warped mind the rational side kicks in and thinks he ended up a poor Bethlehem street urchin, bucket drumming till the bitter end. I mean a lamb and ox kept time with him, he couldn’t have been that great. Upon his grave no name, but merely his trademark Pa rum pum pum pum. Back to point consider yourself fortunate you’re nothing like me. Cause the little drummer boy would just be the fluffy surface with the creamy middle being postulating what Jesus did in the undocumented teenage years, just after he figured out carpentry wasn’t exactly his thing. So if you’re not like me you’re either unwrapping presents or feverishly searching for gifts to give for sake of giving. Cause I on occasion like to consider myself a giver and not like the sub-par novel/movie, but more like the giver my icon Billy Blanks thinks of when he says, “You gotta give some to get some.” Let me high kick over some suggestions for last minute items. Click your desire to see the full gallery of goodness.

 

 

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