Funky Flu Friday

It’s been a few days since I’ve written. I’ve been drenched in discomfort and death-clenching anguish in the form of a flu, ergo I haven’t blogged much. I consider myself a very shy person and for that very fact alone, I shall spare you from the chills, pills, and spills at both ends, which had me whining more than Andy Rooney when faced with an automatic teller. I will however paint you a small picture or perhaps set a small table for you to take a taste of my misfortune. A nugget if you will of my madness, my torture, my sickness. It began on a melancholy Thursday, I was few minutes late to an appointment to have a physical. After only a small spell of time I felt ravenously uncomfortable, and it had nothing to with his crypt keeper bedside manner, or his refusal to touch my nuts. It appears the crypt keeper doesn’t take kind to folks who fail to be prompt, but what the heck he gave me a clean bill of health without me even having to disrobe, and sent me on my merry way. I felt I might bit snifly but in this cold wasteland that’s par for the course. Then fate smacked me in the face and left me grimacing like finding a bone in a cafeteria hotdog. I should have known something was coming by the two foot turd adorning my front walkway (Side Note: I’m gonna take your Jesus, neighbors!). It was now Friday, yes Friday and I was stricken to the very core with this putrescense the laymen call flu. The nights upon days that followed were turbulent and met with numerous challenges. For some reason I could not eat, but with the lack of nutrients I gave my toilets what for, ┬áday after day. So sweaty! So chickeny skinned, but alas I survived. Jeff Probst himself would have been impressed at my perseverance. I’ll bet you a lightly soiled nickel from my bathroom that he would even give me a hug. So I beat it only to be infected by a more horrid and vile beast inflicted me by Twitter. Not only does this song which I conveniently provide for you below, immerse me into illness, but thanks to calling it Friday it reminds me of my flu as well. So why all this, well misery loves company. Enjoy learning about the days of the week, and marvel at the return of Mark Curry as the fun loving pedophile rapper.

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