Lathering Up With Nivea

Now you can call me a bit old fashioned here, but when I lather up my body with foam and juices I like it to come from at least three different bottles. Well sometimes two will do the job, or maybe even a bar of soap and a bottle. The point hereĀ is that all in one products should only be for things like those great knives the Swiss make, or the watches that are watches, calculators, and fashionable all in one tiny package. Something that screams hey look at me, I can balance your checkbook on my wrist, because I have a calculator on my arm. So imagine my utter surprise when I passed by the area of a store where they used to have soap on a rope and saw this Nivea Active 3 body wash. They say that you use for your body, hair, and even shaving. They even say it’s for the active man which I think is a stretch. If I was so active why would I lack the strength to pop open another bottle or reach for a bar of soap. Don’t even get me started on the fact that I can’t even pronounce Nivea correctly. So I mumble it to the apothecary shop attendant, and she ends up handing me a bottle of Nutella when I wanted lip moisturizer.
What in tar-nation would I do with some foamy product that I can wash and shave with at the same time. I just want to wash my feet, not shave them. What level of laziness has to strike you from head to nether bits that compels you to say well I only have time for one bottle, no wash cloth, no loofah, no time. If you were that lazy, or dare I say active, well I think they made Brut33 for that.

If anything I probably invented the all-in-one body wash. Way back when I was a wee child trying to get a washing over and done with, I would use half a bottle of Johnson’s baby shampoo for all my parts. As you can imagine that didn’t last long since my parents were steeped in the old timey values of separation of shampoo and soap. In a nutshell, decades ago I learned that all-in-one washing products were a bad idea, thanks to the lashings. So if you’re low on bath products don’t reach for the so called active wash that sounds like some kind of triple antibiotic. Remember that you’re not lazy, and buy your three bottles online.

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