Fair is Fair

Growing up on the left coast I really didn’t get into any of the state fair stuff. We had Golf-n-Stuff, Disneyland, the beach, the Azalea festival, and all smatterings of other crap to stay entertained. Now being in the midwest or as I heard someone refer to as the other day, “the California of the midwest”. I’ve gained a passion for trying new things, namely beers, weird drinks, and food. Being the food connoisseur I am I took a trip out to the Minnesota state fair, or Mecca of fine cuisine and here’s some of the goodness I encountered. I hope the the following doesn’t disturb you but bring to light a deep seeded passion for flavors and foods that are off the beaten track and on a stick.

Being early in the morning I began as many do with a nice breakfast, in this case this thing called a Fudge Puppy. This bad boy typically comes with nice coating of whooped cream and sprinkles, but I didn’t want to look funny eating this thing. I think it’s a Belgian waffle covered in chocolate and yes on a stick.



I then made my way past one of the strangest things at the fair. A booth that sells sandwiches that you could otherwise get at a gas station. I’m not sure how it works and in the years I’ve gone to the fair I’ve never seen anyone purchase anything but I think they microwave the sandwich for you. How convenient and unnecessary. I suppose it could be nice if there wasn’t acres of other food around but sadly that wasn’t the case. Although I wouldn’t mind having one of these folks around at the gas station to peel the steaming hot wrapping off of my freshly microwaved egg sandwich, that would be nice.
Onward and upward I made quick work of a ProntoPup and headed on in to the Reptile shack which cost about two bucks. I figured it would be nice to see a lizard or two, maybe an alligator and/or pet snakes. As I made my way into this spot I noticed a plethora of newspaper clippings on the wall of a man sporting a mustache much like that of Freddy Mercury’s with snakes wrapped around him. Saw the first ten no biggie, then I looked over a case saw an Albino boa nice, then more pictures on the wall. All the while there was something odd about the song they had playing in the reptile house. It seemed familiar and as I reached the back of this reptilian cavern clad with this wallpaper of a singlet sporting man caressing snakes, it hit me. The song playing was the controversial classic Me So Horny by 2 live crew. I made my escape from the house of 1,000 reptiles quick like a bunny but ever cautious now at what the heck was gonna happen next on my quest for great food and mediocre entertainment.

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